Michael McDonald

This man is the best of like, three or four worlds. You know the worlds I'm talking about. He knows how to get down in earnest, but he's still cool enough not to take it all so damn serious. He's like the baby that Santa Claus and James Brown created during that one mellow/wild night of drinking too much Catdaddy. Except he doesn't dance. "Takin' it to the streets"? Yes. "Minute by Minute"? Even my cat likes it. Warren G.'s only hit (sorry) samples "I Keep forgettin' ". He's like that cool uncle that is always coming to your graduation/30th birthday party/wedding reception/barbeque dressed sharp, spewing slang, and doing a steady two step to the music. Also, he was a freakin' Doobie Brother.

Tinted Windows...

Must be what Billy Corgan pretends to be behind when James Iha tries to talk to him. Actually, Tinted Windows is the name of the band that Mr. Iha has formed with none other Taylor Hanson. Yes, that Taylor Hanson. I am physically incapable of making something like this up. Also incriminated, I mean included, are some guys from Cheap Trick and Fountains of Wayne. But still, as with most things, I find it easy to file this under "The lead Pumpkin made me do it." Possible tracklisting:

1. Mmmm...no

2.Mmmm...let's lick batteries

3.Mmmm...career loss

4.Mmmm...tasty psychotropics

5. Mmmm...what the hell

6.Mmmm...new world order (first single)

Lent/Lint

Yesterday I went to Sephora to pick up some face wash. Not anything special, just the same Clinique (what a shi shi name, btw.) face wash I have been using since I was fourteen. So I stroll into Sephora, thinking that this will be a quick purchase, stumbling through the disco in hell lighting scheme and hip-yet- housewife safe trance music. This is where things get fun. Why do I need to choose from four different bottles of the same mild cleanser? What does extra mild mean? Is that like not even soap anymore? Is the extra mildness accounted for in the cloudy, viscous blend in the bottle? Should you, retail associate, ask me if I need help if you are not able to answer any of these questions?

This is all just a preface to the fact that while I stood in line with a bottle of liquid mild face soap (with pump), I noticed that the woman in front of me had a smudge of ash on her forehead. This is to signify being blessed at a mass at the beginning of the Lenten season. The perky salesclerk (with braces) was not aware of this and after she asked the woman to choose from a complimentary urban decay lipstick or a vitamin -c face treatment leans over and attempts to rub the woman's forehead. "You have some dirt on you," she says after the woman semi- grimaces and leans away from the counter. The connection is obvious. An anecdote about Lent, and I have given up facebook for said occasion, under which circumstances I have channeled my web life wasting by writing this inaugural post.